Every Rose Has It's Thorn
by Nikkirenzo59
Summary: Roaslie's thoughts on her life up until New Moon. Warning:contains New Moon spoilers. " I am beautiful. People think I'm vain, but I'm actually much deeper than that. I am Rosalie Hale." Please R&R. This is my first story on Rosalie.


Disclaimer: All of these characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them.

Rosalie's POV

I am beautiful. People think I'm vain, but I'm actually much deeper than that. I am Rosalie Hale.

I stared out into the blackness. It was a really dark night, although, those are pretty common in Forks. With the constant cloud cover, very little moonlight makes it down to this tiny town. I had just told Bella about my past, my human family...and my death. It brought up some memories that I wished would have remained hidden. It's not that they were bad memories, because they weren't. In fact, some of them were quite wonderful. I wished that they would've remained hidden because I found that if I think about the past, I tend to live in the past.

My human life was OK. I mean, I got everything that I wanted, well, except one thing; my freedom. My parents controlled every aspect of my life. I was fine with it, until they told me who I was going to marry. He was some rich snob, who was horrible to me. My parents didn't even care that I didn't love him.

"Rosalie, there is no such thing as love." They'd say to me. "It doesn't matter as long as you find someone to wed." I could still hear my mother's shrill voice in my head. So, I went along with it. I didn't really have much of a choice. On the eve of our wedding, my so called fiancé beat me and left me to die in the streets. I can still remember just lying there, in so much pain that I wished death would come sooner. That was nothing compared to what came next; the fire running through my veins. I was certain that I was in hell, although I was never quite sure what I did to get sent to hell.

When the fire finally did stop, I opened my eyes to see three of the most beautiful people in the world staring back at me. "Hello, my name is Carlisle Cullen." The one in the front, who appeared to be the leader, said to me. That's how it happened, how I joined the Cullen family, they told about their kind, what I had become.

I lived for a few years with just the three of them. They were nice enough, but Carlisle and Esme kept trying to set me up with Edward. Carlisle only changed me so that his son could have a mate. That hurt somewhat, but I got over it quickly. I mean, I am the beautiful Rosalie Hale. I can have any guy I want; except Edward. It's not that he didn't want me; it's just that we didn't exactly 'click'. He became my brother instead. I was fine with not having a mate. I always saw Carlisle and Esme together. It's great that they found each other, but I'm happy with the family I have now.

That was, until I found Emmett. I was hunting, far away from home. I normally don't go that far but I wanted to be alone with my thoughts (without Edward listening in). I heard a scream. I went to go see what was wrong. Then I smelled it, blood; human blood. Oh god, it smelled so good. I wanted it. If only I could just have a taste, but I knew I couldn't. Carlisle would have been so disappointed in me.

When I walked into the clearing where the scent was the strongest, I saw the most gruesome sight I had ever seen, and that's saying a lot considering I'm a vampire. There was this man being mauled by a bear. By this point, I was no longer breathing. His blood looked so good. If I took in a breath, it would have been the end of him, although he is getting close with the bear. I was about to leave, that was, until I saw his face. He had gorgeous, deep brown eyes, curly brown hair, and the world's cutest dimples. Even with the fear etched all over his face, he still looked perfect. I never believed in love at first sight. In fact, I had never believed in love, but I was in love.

Bringing him back to my house was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It was impossible to not drink from him. Impossible, but I did it. I had to practically beg Carlisle to change him. I don't know why he was so reluctant. I would do anything to save him.

After Carlisle changed him, things were perfect. I had a boyfriend, a brother, and parents. What more could I ask for? Just when I thought things couldn't get better, they did. Emmett proposed to me! I was so happy and the wedding was beautiful.

When we got back from the honeymoon is when things started to go downhill. Emmett wasn't the problem. No, he was perfect. It was me. When we got back is when I realized I'm not getting any older. I knew I wouldn't, Carlisle told me everything after he changed me, and I have been 20 for a while, but that is when it really hit me. I would never age, I would never be able to get pregnant, and Emmet and I could never have children. I could never be a mom. That hurt so much. I had always wanted to be a mom. Ever since I was a child playing with my dolls, I would pretend that they were my children. I envied Esme so much. She has 3 children that she gets to spend eternity with. I have none. That thought made me very depressed. Emmett helped me through it though; he is such a good husband.

Then Jasper and Alice joined our family. I was so happy! I got the sister I always wanted, and Jasper was a really great brother too. I never understood about Alice's past, though. She woke up alone. Who would do that to her? I know I'm not the nicest person in the world, but I would never do anything like that.

The next 50 years were blissful. We had no real dangers, and apart from the drinking blood thing, we were a normal family. Edward, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and I all attended high school over and over again. It wasn't so bad considering the fact that we had all graduating several times, and knew far more than the rest of our classmates, not to mention our teachers. We had to move every few years, though, or else people would start to notice that we never changed. Esme always worried about Edward finding a mate. She thought he was changed to young and will never find love. I thought he was just being melodramatic, that he could never love anyone but himself.

Even with Edward, life was pretty good. As long as I could act like a human, I could pretend that I wasn't really trapped in the same, never-changing body for all of eternity. It was easy for the most part, except for that one day, the most evil, horrible day in the world; Mother's day. It was the one time a year where I was forced to remember that I could never be a mom. I remember one year Alice knitted Esme a beautiful pale pink sweater. It meant so much more that Alice could've just went out and bought a gift, but instead she made one herself. That year was one of the worst. I'm never going to get a present like that from my children.

Moving around was fun, though. We got to see so many different places, even though everywhere we went had to be cloudy most of time. One of my Favorite houses we had was in Alaska. We only got to stay there for a few months, however. Jasper slipped up on the vegetarian diet. We had to move before anyone found out it was us. That's when we moved to Forks. Although unknown to us at the time, that move is what changed all of our lives forever. Whether that was a good change or a bad change, I'm still not sure.

Our first couple of years in Forks was normal. Well, as normal as we can get. Emmett, Jasper, and I started out as sophomores. Edward and Alice played freshmen. It wasn't until halfway through my senior year at Forks High School, that things started to go wrong. There was new student; the chief of police's daughter, Isabella Swan. It was pretty big news. In such a small town, there aren't many new students. She was an ordinary girl; not ugly, but, of course not as beautiful as I. I never even gave her a second thought. That was until the drive home. I knew something was up with Edward, I just didn't know what it was. When we got home, Alice told us what had happened at school. It's just like Edward to run away from his problems.

When he got back from Alaska, I told him that he had to leave her alone, but being that obstinate idiot that he is, he followed her around. It was almost as if he was stalking her it was really weird. He told Carlisle and Esme one night that he was falling in love with her, and of course Carlisle and Esme, out of fear of losing their "first-born" son, told him to do whatever it took for him to stay. There was no way that he could be in love with a _human. _First of all, Edward doesn't love anyone but himself, secondly, if he loved her, than he would have changed her. Just like I did for Emmett, and Carlisle did for Esme.

The first time he brought her home, I was infuriated. A human knew our clandestine. He was putting our entire family in jeopardy, and he didn't even care. I didn't just dislike this girl, I abhorred her, and I made sure she knew it. There was not one time that she came over and I didn't make her feel as uncomfortable as possible. Between my harsh glares and my callous way of completely ignoring her when she tried to speak to me, she could barely stand to be in the same room as me, but she did it for Edward; stubborn human. This made me feel a little guilty, but not nearly enough to stop doing it.

When James was after Bella, my rancor toward her increased even more. She was putting our family in even more danger. Even worse, everyone was so willing to risk themselves for her. I didn't understand it; she was just a human.

Various members of my family have tried to talk to me about why I hated her so much. The way I saw it, there was nothing to talk about. This insignificant little human was ruining our lives and I was the only one observant enough to see it.

The summer after I graduated from Forks high school I learned to tolerate her. She came over almost every day. As she got closer to our family, I felt my detestation for her slowly diminish. It was becoming increasingly harder to hate her. I don't know if it was just because I was getting used to her, or, heaven forbid, I was actually starting to like her.

Bella's birthday was an eventful night to say the least. Who knew that one little paper cut could cause so much damage? Edward made us leave Forks after that. I thought things would be better after we left. I thought Edward would get over her. I was dead wrong. After only a couple of weeks of living in Alaska, Edward left us to go track Victoria; he's not even a tracker. Personally, I thought Edward was just being melodramatic, again. I figured he would come back after failing to get Victoria, but he never did. My whole family was always so worried about him; especially Esme.

He had already been gone for a few months when Alice had that vision. It started out just like any other vision, but after awhile, something went wrong; I could tell just by Alice's face. Esme and Carlisle were hunting, Emmett and Jasper were watching something on T.V., and Alice and I were reading some magazines when I noticed she got that far-away look on her face. She looked terrified. I remembered that night as clearly as I would if it were yesterday.

"Alice? Alice, what's wrong? What did you see?" Jasper was gripping Alice's shoulders tightly, stretching the thin fabric of her t-shirt, while shaking her slightly.

After what seemed like hours, it was probably a minute at most, Alice 'woke up' and looked up at us, we were all standing around her by this point, with such horror on her tiny face. She looked like she was trying to tell us, but was having trouble forming sentences. Finally she came up with one word, "Bella."

I just scoffed. "Hasn't that human caused us enough pain already? What is it this time?"

Alice jumped up and started yelling at me. "Take that back, Rose."

"Why should I? It's all her fault that we had to move and it's her fault that Edward isn't here!"

Saying that was a mistake, I've never seen Alice so mad in the many years I've known her. For someone so small, she can look pretty scary. Alice and I got into a huge fight about whether or not we should tell Edward.

"He has a right to know!" I argued. No one, not even Emmett, agreed with me.

"You're not the one to tell him," Alice yelled back.

"And when exactly do you plan on telling him, Alice. You can't keep it a secret forever, and better he hears it from me, than seeing it in someone's mind next time he decides to grace us with his presence." Alice looked furious, but she surprised me by not yelling back.

"Whatever, Rose. I'm leaving."

"What? Where are you going?" Jasper asked.

"Forks, Charlie's only daughter just died. You can't expect me to let him go through that alone."

Now, sitting out on the back porch by myself, I couldn't believe how selfish I was being that day. My brother's soul mate had just died, and if anything, I was happy. That was just the beginning, though.

For a few days, I listened to Alice and didn't say anything. Not so much out of respect for my sister, as much as me not wanting everyone mad at me. I called Edward 3 days after Alice left. I didn't care what anyone else said; he had a right to know. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I though Edward would come home. "Sure, he will be sad at first, but he'll get over it," I so foolishly thought to myself. When Alice called and told me that Bella was alive, and that Edward was on his way to Italy, I was in shock. It was my fault that my brother was on a suicide mission; not only that, but Alice and Bella were going after him. I have to admit, that I didn't really care if Bella got hurt on that trip. I know it is mean and selfish, but all I could think about was Alice and Edward. If one of them got hurt I could never forgive myself, and if Bella got hurt, Edward would never forgive me. I didn't even want to think about how Jasper would treat me if Alice didn't make out alive.

I took 3 days before we got any information. Those 3 days seemed to take forever, but they did eventually call. When Alice called to say that everyone was okay, you could actually feel the relief throughout the house, although some of that may have been due to Jasper.

I remember waiting in the parking garage at the airport with Emmett, if it weren't for him, I would've left. I was so nervous to see everyone. I knew Edward was mad at me, but not even my imagination running wild could've come up with the look that he'd sent me. I'm not one to be intimidated easily, but that stare, it was more like a death glare, sent shivers up my spine. I

It was when I saw how Edward was looking at Bella that everything changed for me. She looked like she was going to fall over at any moment and was leaning heavily on my brother, but he was staring at her like she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. I had a new found respect for this girl; she saved my brother in ways I could never even dream of doing. After that moment, I actually made an effort to be nicer to her.

And now, as I recall all of these events, I realize that I never hated Bella for the reason I told everyone, or even the reasons that I convinced myself were true. I hated her because she had what I wanted, she had what I was never able to get. She got Edward to fall in love with her, something not even I, the beautiful Rosalie Hale could do. Also, she was human, something I had always wanted to be again. I never chose this life. She was so willing to give up her humanity, it sickened me, but she made my brother happy and that's all I could ask for.


End file.
